Eeshwar Chandra Vidyasagar smiled, “It is clear, the dinner invitation is to the clothes I am wearing and not to me. Therefore, I’m feeding them.” – from a story, I learnt as a kid where importance is given to the appearances, not to the people or the values they hold!
In this modern, global world, keeping any future requirements in mind, some maintain a cordial relationship in the name of friendship. But do those friends value me or like me? (Maybe neither!) But this has been the most intriguing question of my life at this juncture more than ever! This dilemma doesn’t mean I have free time to create ripples in my own life, but people around me, who I assume as close, push me to my limits. I accept every challenge thrown at me and use that to build a stronger myself. But I need to remember that I’m also a mere human being. I genuinely believe in amicable parting than holding onto bitter relations for ‘courtesy’ sake. This thought is a task for me, as I truly value every association and value every person I meet. I respect them for being themselves. I don’t pigeonhole people. So, how do I get to the bottom of any relation? I only analyse to see if we have something in common to have a hearty chat. I don’t understand why people make it challenging for me to be myself?
What is myself? Like any other emotional fool (Only a similar will know what I mean), I try beyond my ability to keep everyone around me happy. My utmost priority is to make sure no one is hurt- not only by me, but by anyone, and to maintain a comfortable, positive front. But it’s hard to keep up with the folly of others, whose aim is to draw their unwanted conclusions, judging me with their little narrow minds and taking a stab at my pleasing personality.
For many, value is money; success means having a hefty bank balance! I have both but at a limited level, just about enough to spend my time contently sitting in my lounge with my family. Do what I ought to as a mother! Use that precious time in educating my children about ‘good manners, and the real values of life’. I have both the time and patience to do that. But when my principles are labelled dated, and I still believe in them, I feel the ruffle. But I know some people are champions of my thoughts. Hence, my fight gains momentum. I’m not giving up!
Women with similar principles will go through this inherent struggle at some point in their lives. For women who can carve their careers, many factors have been in their support. For a woman, also a wife and a mother, those factors must fall in place. Else, priorities change. It’s all about priorities, not necessarily the worth of a person that alone builds a career.
For those who take my silence as an easy target to their uncontrolled klazomania, it’s my modest upbringing that’s giving people another chance to be in my life. When I respect people, I expect that back; but modern times and arrogant lifestyles make them take a stab at my principles in a way that speaks volumes of their lack of the same.
Let’s not even talk about those who speak when they want to for their benefit, leaving people like me baffled. With these encounters, most of the time, I’m a reactive specimen! I’m their friend when they include me as one. But, I supply the agony aunt in me based on the demand. My goal is to make them happy, not necessarily my involvement in the later stages of their comfortable lives.
I consider my life invaluable and highly respectable, the same way I see everyone’s. I hope people realise this before it’s too late. It’s hard to find people like myself.
Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you -read this somewhere—very interesting, and also the need of the hour.
I do come across people like me, myself, and it’s to that gain, I’m still me, myself, though the day-to-day life is challenging.