Positive Digital Parenting

    Video/online games carry many negative connotations amongst parents, in general. Is that always true? If yes, why is it the most worrying thing on parents’ minds, and yet, every household has them? Aren’t these digital phenomena strengthening otherwise bored children’s cognitive and emotional abilities? The “Leapfrog,” “Digital storytelling” books, Minecraft, Super Mario – are they keeping children occupied and complementing the parenting role, or are they compounding to the busy schedules of parental lives? The worry lies in “excessive” usage or taking aid from these e-devices, spending their entire active time seeking refuge in this digital world. It is not just the addiction but the comfort these games provide, making kids binge on games and videos that are perturbing. These extreme cases depict a lack of required parental control & family time.

             The underlying causations focus towards “observational learning” in kids & “protecting the self,” & the way parents are struggling between the mysterious yet straightforward “operant conditioning” methods. Peer pressure, marketing strategies, parents’ affluence, and changing lifestyles create this long divide between positive parenting and positive reinforcement. This leads to the causal ramifications: good & evil and might be raising shy, angry, anxious, and incompetent kids.

            It’s incredible to see how fast kids learn and adapt to specific video games like Minecraft™, Terraria™, Stickman™, etc. The visual-motor areas light up in their brains, with the sympathetic nervous systems kicking in even at bedtime. These games take them to an imaginary world to defeat monsters / hidden villains. These devices and games make their entry into family rooms to mark these kids’ successes, be more up-to-date with technology, and be more hands-on with the latest trends. Slowly, they take over the control, control kids’ minds, and control parenting. With these devices taking control, not in the authoritative parenting style but other styles,  parents enjoy getting the desired break, helping them get on with their chores, spending their waiting times in long queues, shopping times, all to go smooth. So, parents get to pursue their interests and help them plan their time the way they intend to. Playing video games and spending time on tabs is necessary in these modern times, but making these a substitute for parental care and concern doesn’t produce positive results in the long run. Effective time management and wise coordination between parents/carers and children are vital. It should not let the parent-child bonding slip from positive reinforcement to upsetting family relations bringing in “punishments” or “response costs.”

         The secure attachment in a parent-child relationship, which was supposed to raise socially competent, positive & confident kids, is somewhere being disturbed in between. Here, strangers are getting closer, and parents are being pushed to a distance. The scenario should be that kids should get back to the parent when there is a stranger, but this cycle is disappearing; when these devices are taken away, kids show anger and anxiety. Again, parents must regain their space in their children’s minds and hearts. So, perhaps these strangers might be allowed for a predetermined time! These games and devices’ time should be earned as part of doing their assignments or over their leisure time. Kids should have agreeable terms on their e-times. Parents should give their children a clear idea about these privileges, and children must appreciate this approval of their freedom and time.

       Children should be well-informed about the moderate usage of e-devices. They need the social skills which could develop over the social gatherings minus these devices. Their innocent minds should not be under the control of “hidden” billion-dollar video game makers/markets. Yet their widgets enhance creativity and expose their imaginary world of possibilities bringing the best in them. Their positivities are underrated due to excessive usage because they dominate parents’ ability to control and direct their children’s brains. So, parenting must be positive and wise, mixed with appropriate control and increased support, just the authoritative way- creating a positive parent-child relationship!

Styles of parenting: https://www.verywellfamily.com/types-of-parenting-styles-1095045


  1. Rationbookmum · January 19, 2018

    Very true – I’ve been lucky that my kids are not interested in games really. It’s hard though when they are surtounded by constant games where they can connect at all times to their friends. I’m uncomfortable with games such as call of duty as I think they glamourize violence .

    Liked by 1 person

    • Michael · January 19, 2018

      I agree, but not only do the glamourize violence, I fear they also promote ‘immortality’. If they ‘die’ in the game, they will respawn and so it doesn’t matter. I see it too often in our younger generation, that the they have no actual concept of dying 😦


      • sreeyal · January 19, 2018

        “Gun” fun is another repercussion of this concept of ‘immortality’!!


  2. sreeyal · January 19, 2018

    So true Kellie. I haven’t gone in deep with blue whale and such but it’s more dangerous than we can image, lucky you and same with mine.


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