Unlearning the learning, I’m trying to redefine what success could mean to me. Maybe this could give solace to my lifelong ambition followed by a beatdown feeling of being unable to study medicine, or should I say missing it by a whisker that made it an even worse episode that aghast my life?

My husband did offer me the chance to pursue that line of education even now, being a mother, which I don’t think is the right time- but to my utter surprise and divine intervention, I happened to chat with my favourite Botany teacher, Kumar Raja, sir, who taught me botany for over five years and mentored me the whole time, shared the fact that he and his family expected I would come round holding a stethoscope and emerge as a fabulous doctor. He was shocked to hear otherwise and offered to train me NOW- even after two decades; he has the confidence that I could do it– That confidence my teacher had in me makes me feel content, and all those tears that recently have been hiding have flown, releasing me of this defeated attitude that I assumed I could never overcome.

That’s destiny. Failures don’t always depict a lack of sincere attempt but may result from destiny. This failure taught me perseverance, to understand human behaviour, and that life is not a bed of roses– everything always comes with a fight to me- I’m a proud fighter.

 At this juncture, I have to take a moment to express my gratitude for the stature of our Kumar Raja sir, who hailed from a middle-class family and offered free tuition to aspiring students and, at times, his family sharing some delicacies they cooked with all the students. This was when education had become a complete business product in India. Watching a mentor be so full of morals and ethics has imprinted the same values in me. My parents offered free meals to students who couldn’t afford two meals a day, but that was when human values and empathy were still at their peak. Again, taking me by surprise, my parents still offer the same for students in need to date. I consider the age I grew up as golden- a true amalgamation of rich family & cultural values and those baby steps toward the e-world.

Those who know me as a teenager remember me as a sole fighter who sincerely tried to clear one entrance test that could have blessed me with stepping foot in the college of my dreams – Andhra Medical College. This college is not far- 50 km away from my parents and the place I travelled to every day for my master’s internship or to visit friends and relatives even now. But, to date, never could I embrace the ambience of the prestigious medical college, which produced wonderful doctors who are saving lives day in and out all over the world. 

Foolish, I was not to accept other branches of medicine on other campuses but kept my vain eye on medicine at AMC. Or that was the fate, and I had to accept it unwillingly.

Unwavering support from my parents and family rebuilt me. They were never disappointed or expressed displeasure with my choices. But they accepted me as I am. Many insults came in the face of revenge from unknowns, but those silent hearts in the form of friends and acquaintances that prayed for my success, whether I knew them or not, is what I have achieved in my life- That’s my life summed up. 

I wouldn’t have known the beauty of life and struggles had my plate been full of what I wished for. I have learnt to appreciate life for what it is, not for what I aspired of it.