Scars are good!

Scars are good. Even better are those that get deep involving pain and bless the bearer with tenacity and perseverance. A well-led life has gone through the crests and troughs of life. A life that’s awash with unexpected predicaments and evolved a winner passing many priceless heat tests can relish the real fun in life, the joy that’s above and beyond cash flows and back-scratching.

It was exactly eight years ago we had had a burglary that filled me with trauma and made me spill hot boiling oil on my calf that gave me nearly third-degree burns. I feel that was the culmination of my depression from suffering. The suffering resulted from a constant conflict between hard work and luck, fate and destiny, and rupture and rapture. That accident resulting in the unfolding of many shocking events was the pinnacle of my combats. Then on, I feel I’m invincible. That physical scar still helps me deal with any emotional scar gracefully.

Coming back to that December incident when my younger one was a months baby, the older one was not even 5, was a life lesson. Doing maths between time and distance, we ruled out visits by family  Friends who were frequent weekend- stayers at ours announced they wouldn’t come over to help my husband, who was struggling with visits to the burns unit at the local hospital where my months baby wasn’t allowed. They never came back to us to date—one of many examples of good riddance.

Right then, the angel who imbibed confidence and infused life back into me stepped in. That friendship burnt the ambiguity in me if I had to change myself to suit the selfish people around or hang on there for the right time and right people.  

Then on, no looking back. I feel I can see beyond the masks that people wear. Yet, I feel amused and blessed when people use my time and emotions in the name of friendships and relations. That’s where some lives start and stop. I made an oath not to change myself; should I change, I let those precious people who define ‘life in life’ bringing the contentment through spirituality slip through!

Yes, I am a proud owner of certain precious friendships that don’t expect me to scratch their backs, nor extend me any party invites that are put forth based on people’s financial status and glossy outlooks. They accept me as I am! They introduced me to the concept of humanism. At this juncture, how can I not express my gratitude to my parents who raised us (me and my sister) on moral grounds! I should also not ignore my husband’s acceptance of my ideologies and give me a free hand to inculcate these values and principles in my children. Pray, I, along with these other precious friends, stand tall with these time-tested values! This chosen path may leave us with scars, but they are worthy.

Scars are beautiful. A life that hasn’t experienced those isn’t complete. A life marked with scars helps one see the simple joys of life, teaches one to be happy for others, be part of other’s pains, and allows one to weave human relations. How one deals with scars defines that life.

If scars force one to be self-centered, then one hasn’t learnt the art of living.
Scars that guide one’s life to be empathetic are a blessing to the world.
Lucky lives remain oblivious to scars, but those are empty lives.
Those who never experienced scars yet, are benevolent are the angels. 

My scars help me be a simple human being. All I have is a great family, friends, and angels who lift me.
Trust me when I say scars are good.   

Not thorns, but my roses…

The drizzle and the petrichor that comes with it brings back memories of my home; the aromas of those delicious savouries that my mum made; the big banyan tree that used to be the view from my room; a flock of birds that drew patterns high in the sky while on their way home, chirping; my friends and my cousins who I grew up with; my school, and those bike rides back home from school with wet back-packs, uniforms, and shoes after heavy lashes of rain; all are making me emotive—having come a long way since, I miss enjoying those simple pleasures day to day.

That nostalgic knot of the heart feeling with flashbacks flashing by rapidly listening to certain cult songs that defined the way I grew up; those moments that my memories are in constant touch with but cannot be re-lived; those slippery relations certain people, who can change as fast as seasons, bring;  those amusements in adapting to life’s new needs; living in the present focussing just on immediate future is a defiant task for me. All I am not missing now are those selfish backstabbers.

Dreams are unlimited, so are the factors that determine fate. Talking about fate, I am still unclear if fate decides the destiny or the destiny guiding the fate! Leading a caring and disciplined life coupled with principles doesn’t guarantee a safe route to happiness. The world around me can only get me to the best of ‘its’ capability.

Being religious doesn’t mean one can have a blessed and blissful life. Religion is for those who can’t follow humanism by default. Being pious, at times, is a sign of helplessness.  So, what makes us believe in supernatural powers or any form of God? Is it the strength that we establish elsewhere seeking contentment in being taken care of? For me,  right from the a-cellular to multicellular, invertebrates to vertebrates, atomic structure to the solar system, everything looks miraculous. A theory beyond science; a power that creates or destroys us. That power in which  I believe. I love taking credits for my happiness and blaming an unknown target for my failures. I believe that power strengthens me to bounce back. I’m in search of that power; I’m in search to find answers for many of my solutions!

Criticism isn’t a metric to measure worthiness; same with compliments. People don’t necessarily categorise one’s deeds. It’s the person they analyse; it’s their relevance they define, not the righteousness. Smart people change with their experiences, but does that not mean we have given a right to our bad influences the power to change our core? So, what can be a repose to simple, innocent lives? HOPE! Hope keeps one alive; hope is the oxygen for our survival. Don’t we all live in hope? Hope will not let you fail.  “I am grateful for thorns to have roses.” Not everyone can have just the roses. There are many scars that thorns gave me. Yet, I also have a bouquet of roses in my life garden.

All that I want to cherish are those multi-coloured helping hands across the countries!

I have heard many say, every cloud has a silver lining. Yes, there will always be many.