Saga of a Non Resident Indian (NRI)

“Be the change you want to see”- Mahatma Gandhi.

At times, change is only possible when you throw yourself  ‘out of the box’, both physically and mentally. We don’t want to be a frog in the well; instead, the frame of reference must be as comprehensive as a birds’ -eye view. From my own experience, I can say, an NRI has such a perspective. NRI here can be anyone who has travelled out of India, even on holiday. The first thing that strikes us when visiting developed countries is their lane discipline, cleanliness, and the value of life. The ultimate wonder is the transparency in the developed world makes Indian immigrants clench their fists with guilt and desperation. That one significant difference that hits us all in the face is the widespread corruption back home. But, mind you all, some Indian politicians, with families and friends, make foreign tours to see how these developed countries operate! Living in five-star hotels gives them a better view; who cares about the perspective!

One has to read ‘Marco Polo’s India’ to understand what India was before getting exploited by the world around. India was once called the Ratnagarbha- holds jewels in its core. This wealth attracted many, followed by invasions from the Mughals, the East Indian Company, the Turks, the Dutch, and many more. Divided as we can be for the power, wealth, name, and fame, the then, huge India got into bits and pieces, became a colony, lost its riches, and got exploited in every possible, unimaginable, undesired way. Then slowly emerged were the independent leaders. The most dynamic, patient, and determined leader was Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi. His earnest desire to make India Independent, his thoughts of equality, unity, freedom, and leadership qualities he self-instilled while ill-treated in South Africa. The discrimination he’d faced made him concentrate his strengths and abilities to set India free. Subhash Chandra Bose, a radical freedom fighter, had travelled abroad, and that set him a vision same as Gandhi but a different modus operandi. Same with another leader Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel (whose recently unvelied statue is 182-meter world’s tallest). He went to England to earn a degree. Jawaharlal Nehru, Rabindranath Tagore, Sarojini Naidu are no different. The Maharaja institutes in my hometown, Vizianagaram, where I have earned my college degrees, were believed to be built, inspired by Cambridge, UK. Then there was another league of freedom fighters who lived all their lives in the villages they were born in, inspiring and fighting for their people and freedom till they were assassinated or hanged. But my points of reference, for now, are the former, who gained a different perspective because they had a different vision of the world around India. That triggered patriotism as a passion, as a need, as an immediate desire.

India became independent from the British, but not from its quagmire of greed, selfishness, social inequalities, and the fear of being suppressed by the strong. All these led to the rich becoming richer and the poor becoming poorer, with the percentage of the latter growing exponentially. Pakistan, Bangladesh getting separated from India at the time of gaining Independence also added religious factors to the many existing disparities.

India has a history of a few thousand years! It has a vast culture ranging from Vedas to a marriage system to a hierarchical structure that attracted civilizations. Education, once a privilege to only the rich, became a need for everyone after Independence. With the inception of the internet and globalisation, pursuing higher education in the west and being part of western R&D has become affordable by many. Indian companies welcomed these graduates with more tremendous respect. People who struggled to fight against corruption and inequality while in India started loving the fair and justice system in the West. The mass brain drain immigration explains the nomenclature NRI, Non-Resident Indian.

NRI is a fascinating term for many in India. Being an NRI has not been as easy as it sounds today. The concept is nothing different in 2018, either. The acceptance levels have increased across; Indians became part of western society. But the first experience of leaving India behind, the family & friends, the soil, the emotions are challenging to tackle, let alone the culture shock in the foreign place.

NRIs carry a distinct sense of responsibility along with carrying the the India tag throughout, unknowingly.  I, being one, adorn patriotism to my thoughts, deeds and actions. From a distance, India appears very different now. I can see potential India has.  India is curbed again, but this time by her citizens- most of whom lack a vision, and are powerful and selfish. I can see the struggle of an ordinary person who strives to lead a simple life despite the factors pulling him/her towards corruption and dishonesty. On the top of my list are who chose to live in their homeland bearing the deficiencies, perhaps seeking opportunity to set things right.

Along with my family, I invest our efforts into understanding the local communities, getting into the groove, and having warm acceptance levels.  We enjoy the smiles that greet us every day. NRIs (most of us) act very responsibly in their foreign land. In this process, I have developed an invisible, affectionate bond with my foreign lands. Simultaneously, I have realised the admiration I have for India. We are part of a global community aspiring for peace and harmony across.

One cannot separate NRIs from their motherland. It’s their birthright!

Happy ‘Fry’day!

Let’s relish these flavours from India!

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Never tried cabbage before? You will not regret trying this, and can’t help but fall in love with cabbage.

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Cone dosa, a savoury crepe made with rice and lentils, is my son’s favourite.

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Poori, a deep fried flat bread, made with wheat flour can be relished any time!

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Tindora/Dondakaay, (Coccinia grandis, the ivy gourd) melts in mouth when deep fried!

Let this be a happy ‘Fry’day!

Not thorns, but my roses…

The drizzle and the petrichor that comes with it brings back memories of my home; the aromas of those delicious savouries that my mum made; the big banyan tree that used to be the view from my room; a flock of birds that drew patterns high in the sky while on their way home, chirping; my friends and my cousins who I grew up with; my school, and those bike rides back home from school with wet back-packs, uniforms, and shoes after heavy lashes of rain; all are making me emotive—having come a long way since, I miss enjoying those simple pleasures day to day.

That nostalgic knot of the heart feeling with flashbacks flashing by rapidly listening to certain cult songs that defined the way I grew up; those moments that my memories are in constant touch with but cannot be re-lived; those slippery relations certain people, who can change as fast as seasons, bring;  those amusements in adapting to life’s new needs; living in the present focussing just on immediate future is a defiant task for me. All I am not missing now are those selfish backstabbers.

Dreams are unlimited, so are the factors that determine fate. Talking about fate, I am still unclear if fate decides the destiny or the destiny guiding the fate! Leading a caring and disciplined life coupled with principles doesn’t guarantee a safe route to happiness. The world around me can only get me to the best of ‘its’ capability.

Being religious doesn’t mean one can have a blessed and blissful life. Religion is for those who can’t follow humanism by default. Being pious, at times, is a sign of helplessness.  So, what makes us believe in supernatural powers or any form of God? Is it the strength that we establish elsewhere seeking contentment in being taken care of? For me,  right from the a-cellular to multicellular, invertebrates to vertebrates, atomic structure to the solar system, everything looks miraculous. A theory beyond science; a power that creates or destroys us. That power in which  I believe. I love taking credits for my happiness and blaming an unknown target for my failures. I believe that power strengthens me to bounce back. I’m in search of that power; I’m in search to find answers for many of my solutions!

Criticism isn’t a metric to measure worthiness; same with compliments. People don’t necessarily categorise one’s deeds. It’s the person they analyse; it’s their relevance they define, not the righteousness. Smart people change with their experiences, but does that not mean we have given a right to our bad influences the power to change our core? So, what can be a repose to simple, innocent lives? HOPE! Hope keeps one alive; hope is the oxygen for our survival. Don’t we all live in hope? Hope will not let you fail.  “I am grateful for thorns to have roses.” Not everyone can have just the roses. There are many scars that thorns gave me. Yet, I also have a bouquet of roses in my life garden.

All that I want to cherish are those multi-coloured helping hands across the countries!

I have heard many say, every cloud has a silver lining. Yes, there will always be many.

Not the “fall” but the rise- Autumn!

     Just as the new moon is a sign of prosperity, autumn is a sign of hope for me. A new moon can only grow; autumn will only set the stage for spring!  

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      Relating it to the countries I have lived in; autumn has different connotations, celebrations, and appearances. In India, which has its lunisolar calendar, this is the festive time. From celebrating Ganesha, the elephant head god, to Navaratri, the goddess of power – Durga, to Diwali, the festival of lights, it’s a festive time. Every tradition in the autumn is related to beating the cold around, swatting the mosquitoes that are on the rise because of the open drainage system, and post-monsoon water-puddles that breed them. English summer, marked by the lush greenery and the majestic aromatic plants, paves the way for autumn by either being dormant or shedding their leaves standing up tall; let us have a clear view of our neighbourhoods, but gradually the days get shorter.There will be days one may not see the sun at all, given their work hours. Carving pumpkins, gathering around the bonfires, apple plucking fests, and counting down for Santa Claus, help us navigate through the dark faster. In the US, it’s fascinating! End of June, we see pumpkins and Halloween decors in the retail shops. We do wonder at the commercial farsightedness. We see countdowns for Christmas by autumn, and those happy holidays signs everywhere reminding us to book our holidays, one more commercial push! It’s a unanimous decision that celebration is typical in autumn wherever we are.  Halloween brings the deadly creative side of everyone out. One significant aspect of any celebration is food. In the west, salads will be on the decline, and soups take the top spot. In India, every festival has its specialty dishes. But the most common festive delicacy in the south of India is, Tamarind rice, pulihara. The aroma of this rice brings vibrancy.

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Autumn brings dry leaves and cold weather to mind; that shouldn’t necessarily mean just the old leaves. For me, this implies getting rid of dry relations and bringing warmth closer to our hearts. What sounds promising is the cozy evenings with warm people anticipating the birth of new leaves and daffodils (in the UK), Blue Bonnets (in Texas, USA), Mangoes (in India). For me, autumn is a sign of hope!  

To my teachers and the teacher in me!

**Healthy dosage of self-esteem**

As they say, charity starts from home; when the topic is my teachers, it ought to begin from my grandparents to my parents, school & college teachers, and everyone who taught me a lesson with love or otherwise.

September 5 marks the birth anniversary of Sree Sarvepalli Radhakrishna garu, an Indian teacher who became the second Indian president. In India, we celebrate Teacher’s Day on this day. As Teacher’s Day in India. In 1992, that laid the foundation for me to recognise I have teaching skills too. Teacher’s Day gave our school’s senior students ( call it 10th class/grade/year, whatever) a chance to be teachers for that day. I don’t remember how it landed in my lap, but I acted as one of our favourites -Karuna teacher and taught Maths to our immediate juniors. I, along with another friend, won the ‘ best acting teacher’ awards. The best compliment was that one of the students understood the concepts of ‘Sets/Venn diagrams and functions’ much better when I taught.

My dad, a professor with a passion for teaching, has built an excellent legacy molding many students; my mum, a teacher, gave up on her dreams for us; my sister taught statistics to undergrads for a brief period. At this juncture, I have to mention my maternal granddad, who initially taught me proper letter-writing and drafting for debates and essay writings.  This mentoring left strong imprints on my little brain to be a disciplinarian and a perfectionist in anything I attempt. Until I left India, I also tutored little kids around my house who couldn’t afford private tutors, which helped them pass their primary school tests. This pure exchange of knowledge is close to divinity which my whole family has been practising. I bow to my parents for guiding me to have those beautiful, priceless experiences. Another beautiful concept which I reiterate in many of my posts was the ‘vaaralabbay,’ the culture of feeding a financially challenged student a day a week. My parents followed that for a couple of decades at least, and we had many students who would come to have dinners on certain days of the week for as long as they pursued education. Education indeed is valuable and a gift to have.

I have a special reverence for some special teachers in my life and respect for all the teachers who taught me. I took every teacher seriously, showed respect, obeyed rules, and been their favourite too. These are the principles instilled by my dad, Dr. Ayalasomayajula Gopalarao, a disciplinarian to the core, an author, and a former member of the Official Language Commission of India. He is a gold medal winner for the Best Ph.D. Thesis award and Best Professor award recognised by Dr. Shankar Dayal Sharma, who served as the Governor of  Andhra Pradesh and was the ninth President of India.  

I bow to all my school teachers, my Bharatnatyam/ dance master,  my English, organic chemistry, and biology lecturers at college, and marketing gurus at university. Every teacher has time for all students’ needs. I am blessed to meet my 10th class teacher on Facebook, who, despite a 25-year gap, noticed that I have a flair for writing, which led me to this blog. Thank you, Radha Rukmini teacher.

Now, I teach at eVidyaloka, a not-for-profit organization that focuses on transforming the educational landscape of rural India. This teaching is an eye-opener for my kids and me, who may use an electronic device with high-speed internet 24*7 to play games or use it as a dictionary. Those residential students use one laptop for about 22 of them with internet run through a telephone landline plus random power outages. With Covid and lockdowns, those students use their parents’ smartphones for an hour a day for learning before the latter goes for daily jobs, and also, we can hear each other only when the internet is stable. I have to thank my brother-in-law, who introduced me to this, and he, himself, is a volunteer teacher at this organization. 

At this juncture, I also have to thank my children for giving me a multitude of opportunities to learn and teach. It came to me as a surprise when I was asked to teach simple Indian cooking to 5-7-year-olds in a school while in England, to be a mentor at US schools. The trust I get from my mentees boosts my energy and helps build my mothering skills. Coming back to my kids, my son sets his own rules, and my daughter a disciplinarian. My son has changed my take on things and helping me better myself, whilst my daughter reforms my traditional thinking subconsciously.

Thanks to my best critique, my husband, it’s a privilege to share life with a sage person.

Last but not least, a special mention to my friends who are teachers and my teachers who are my friends now!

Happy Teacher’s Day!